Alay Ka Ba sa Christmas Party? When Pakikisama Becomes a Workplace Obligation
The HR Carousel | Workplace Culture, Employee Relations & Labor Law
Hindi ka naman hired para sumayaw. So bakit parang kasama sa job description mo ang Christmas party performance?
I have been there.
I have been part of a dance group even when I knew I wasn't comfortable dancing. I have two left feet—or at least, that was how I felt whenever I had to learn choreography. I wasn't particularly happy about it, but I endured it for the sake of pakikisama.
Back then, you learned to go along with things because you didn't want to be the person who spoiled the fun. You didn't want to be called KJ. And you certainly didn't want to be the colleague who supposedly couldn't cooperate.
One of the familiar workplace traditions was the obligatory dance number for new hires, especially those who joined before the Christmas season.
New ka? Congratulations! You might have just been recruited for the company's next production number. It was treated as a rite of passage. The established employees had supposedly gone through it, so the newbies were expected to do the same.
And so, the practices began.
The Christmas party that comes with unpaid rehearsals
The company Christmas party is supposed to be a celebration. A chance for employees to relax, enjoy a meal, socialize, and perhaps win something in the raffle.
But for some employees, the preparations start weeks before the actual event.
There are songs to learn, steps to memorize, costumes to prepare, and rehearsals to attend. Practices may extend beyond regular working hours, sometimes without compensation.
Suddenly, an employee's personal time is being consumed by an activity that has little or nothing to do with the work they were hired to perform.
For someone who enjoys dancing, this might be fun. They may willingly volunteer, look forward to rehearsals, and enjoy performing onstage.
Good for them!
But what about the employee who doesn't want to dance? The one who is uncomfortable performing in front of a crowd? The person who has family responsibilities, a long commute, another commitment after work, or simply wants to go home and rest?
Must everyone enjoy the same things?
And if an employee declines, why does the refusal sometimes become a discussion about their attitude?
When saying No makes you KJ (Kill Joy = me?)
The pressure isn't always expressed through a direct order from management.
Sometimes, it comes through jokes.
"Baguhan ka pa lang, ayaw mo nang makisama?"
"Everyone else is doing it. Bakit ikaw, ayaw mo?"
"Ang KJ mo naman!"
"Team effort ito!"
These comments might be delivered with laughter, but their effect depends on the situation and the people involved.
For a new employee still trying to establish credibility, refusing may feel more difficult than simply agreeing. They may worry about disappointing their supervisor, inconveniencing their teammates, or being remembered as the person who refused to cooperate.
So they attend the rehearsals. They learn the steps. They perform onstage.
Not necessarily because they want to, but because saying no feels more costly than saying yes.
That is where I think we need to pause.
Participation is not necessarily voluntary just because nobody physically forces an employee onto the stage.
When an employee feels compelled to participate to avoid ridicule, disapproval, or possible workplace repercussions, we need to ask whether the activity is genuinely voluntary.
When the cash prize becomes another form of pressure
Some companies offer cash prizes to the best-performing department or the winning team. There is nothing wrong with friendly competition—unless the prize becomes another reason employees feel they cannot say no.
Imagine being told that your department needs everyone to participate to win. Your teammates are counting on you, and refusing to dance could mean letting the team down.
The prize may be intended to encourage friendly competition. But when employees are guilt-tripped or made to feel responsible for the team's chances of winning, the pressure can become uncomfortable.
A cash prize should encourage participation, not become a reason employees feel compelled to perform.
If the goal is camaraderie, employees should be free to contribute in other ways—or simply decline without being unfairly treated.
What if the employee's reason is religious?
This is another consideration that deserves more sensitivity in Philippine workplaces.
Not everyone celebrates the same occasions or participates in the same activities. Some employees have religious convictions that affect whether they can join particular celebrations, performances, dancing, or themed events.
For example, members of Iglesia ni Cristo, Church of God International (Ang Dating Daan) and other religious groups may have religious objections to certain celebrations or activities. Religious practices and individual convictions can vary, so HR should not assume that every member of a particular religious group follows identical restrictions.
The point is not to debate anyone's religion. It is to respect that an employee may have a sincerely held belief that prevents them from participating.
Consider an employee who declines a Christmas party performance or a Halloween activity participation for religious reasons. Instead of accepting the answer, colleagues might tease them, repeatedly try to persuade them, or suggest that they are being difficult.
Worse, the employee might feel compelled to participate because they fear being labeled uncooperative, excluded from the group, or viewed unfavorably by management.
That is an unnecessary position to put someone in.
In December 2025, the Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE) reminded employers to respect employees' religious beliefs, cultural sensitivities, and personal preferences when organizing Christmas parties and other activities. The agency also explained that employees who are threatened with disciplinary action for refusing to participate in compulsory activities may have grounds to file a complaint.
HR does not have to agree with an employee's beliefs to treat them respectfully. Nor should employees have to disclose private religious details to an entire department just to decline an activity.
A simple, respectful response is often enough: acknowledge the employee's decision and, if they wish, offer an alternative way to participate.
And this principle should apply consistently—not only when the reason is religious, but also when an employee is uncomfortable performing, has personal commitments, or simply does not want to join.
An employee should not have to choose between their convictions and their standing at work.
The goal of a company celebration is to bring people together. If belonging is made conditional on performing or setting aside one's beliefs, perhaps it is time to reconsider what the company means by pakikisama.
It doesn't end with Christmas
Christmas party performances are only one example.
The same expectations can appear during Halloween celebrations, company anniversaries, department presentations, team-building activities, talent competitions, and other workplace events.
There may be themed costumes, group dances, games, skits, or presentations. Some employees genuinely enjoy these activities. Others would rather participate in a different way—or not participate at all.
There is nothing wrong with organizing activities to build camaraderie. Nor is there anything wrong with encouraging employees to get involved.
The problem arises when encouragement becomes pressure and refusal becomes a character flaw.
An employee who declines a Halloween costume contest is not automatically uncooperative. Someone who doesn't want to join a dance number is not necessarily a poor team player. An employee who prefers to observe rather than perform is not automatically disengaged.
And if refusing an optional activity leads to exclusion, hostility, or unfavorable treatment, that deserves attention.
Workplace inclusion should not require everyone to have the same personality, interests, beliefs, or comfort level.
What does DOLE say?
This is no longer just a discussion about personal preferences or office etiquette.
In December 2025, DOLE reminded employers that employees should not be compelled to participate in Christmas party activities that conflict with their religious beliefs or personal preferences. According to the Philippine News Agency's report, threats of disciplinary action for refusing to participate may give employees grounds to bring a complaint before the National Labor Relations Commission (NLRC). Depending on the circumstances, other legal concerns may also arise.
More recently, on October 21, 2026, media reports quoted DOLE-Central Visayas information officer Roberto Cabardo as warning that forcing employees to perform at company Christmas parties could constitute bullying.
These statements reinforce an important distinction: a voluntary invitation to join a performance is not the same as compelling an employee to participate and penalizing or humiliating them for refusing.
However, not every unpleasant joke, invitation, or disagreement automatically constitutes unlawful bullying or a labor-law violation. The actual conduct, its context, and its consequences matter.
Employees who experience coercion or retaliation should consider documenting what happened and seeking appropriate guidance through their company's grievance process or the relevant labor authorities.
Employers should not dismiss the issue simply because the activity is called a party or because the pressure is presented as harmless fun.
A celebration does not automatically excuse coercion.
And what about the unpaid practice hours?
This deserves a separate look.
If employees are expected to attend rehearsals outside their normal working hours, employers should examine whether the time is compensable under applicable labor standards.
The answer depends on the circumstances, including whether attendance is required, how the activity is controlled, and whether the time qualifies as hours worked under applicable rules.
We should not automatically conclude that every rehearsal is compensable overtime. But neither should an employer assume that calling an activity Christmas party preparation automatically makes the time unpaid.
Employees have lives outside the office. Their personal time has value, too.
If an activity is genuinely voluntary, employees should be able to decline without having to defend their personal schedules or prove that they are sufficiently committed to the company.
HR's role: Encourage participation, not compliance for compliance's sake
For HR practitioners and people managers, this is an opportunity to examine how workplace culture is created and reinforced.
Ask yourself:
Are employees genuinely free to decline a performance?
Are new hires being assigned roles without their consent simply because it is an established tradition?
Are cash prizes or team competitions creating unnecessary pressure on employees to perform?
Are religious beliefs and personal boundaries being respected?
Are rehearsals scheduled outside working hours, and has the company assessed any applicable compensation obligations?
Are employees teased, isolated, or treated differently when they refuse?
Are managers measuring commitment by actual work performance—or by enthusiasm for company activities?
There are many ways to participate in a company celebration. An employee can help organize the event, assist with logistics, support the performers, join the meal, or simply attend and enjoy the occasion.
Not everyone needs to be onstage to be part of the team.
And if an employee genuinely wants to dance, sing, or perform, by all means, let them enjoy it. The objective is not to eliminate the fun. It is to make room for people who experience fun differently.
Tradition is not a sufficient reason to keep doing something
"We've always done it this way" is one of the most familiar explanations for workplace practices that nobody has stopped to question.
Perhaps the established employees endured the same obligatory dance number when they were new.
Perhaps the tradition started as an innocent attempt to build camaraderie.
But a practice does not become necessary, fair, or appropriate merely because previous employees went through it.
We can keep the laughter, the games, the performances, and the camaraderie without making unwilling employees pay for their participation with their personal time, dignity, or workplace relationships.
If you want to dance, dance.
If you want to sing, sing.
If you want to join the Halloween costume contest, go ahead.
But if you prefer not to perform, that should not automatically make you the office KJ. Pakikisama should be an expression of mutual respect, not a test of obedience.
The Christmas party is a celebration, not an audition for regularization, a performance appraisal, or a test of whether you deserve to belong.
And no, having two left feet should not be a workplace liability.
The HR Carousel: Because sometimes, the most important workplace traditions are the ones we finally learn to question.
References and further reading
Philippine News Agency. (December 12, 2025). Companies told: Don't force workers to join party games, activities. Covers DOLE's reminder on voluntary participation, religious beliefs, personal preferences, and possible complaints when employees face coercion or threats of disciplinary action.
PhilSTAR Life. (October 21, 2026). Forced to sing or dance at the office Christmas party? DOLE calls it bullying. Reports DOLE-Central Visayas' warning against forcing employees to perform at Christmas parties.
BusinessMirror. (December 15, 2025). DOLE warns employers vs coercing workers to perform in parties. Discusses coercion, threats of punishment, employee complaints, and the need to respect cultural sensitivities, religious practices, and personal preferences.
GMA News Online. (December 15, 2025). OPINION: Ask Atty. Gaby: Christmas party performances. Legal commentary explaining the distinction between voluntary participation and pressure to perform.
PhilSTAR Life. (December 12, 2022). It's time we stop forcing newbie employees to dance during company Christmas parties. An earlier opinion piece about new-hire performance traditions, peer pressure, unpaid rehearsals, and the fear of being labeled difficult to get along with.
Editorial note: This article is for general information and workplace discussion, not individual legal advice. Whether particular conduct violates labor or other laws depends on the facts and applicable legal standards.
About Me:
I'm Joseline M. Alosbaños, a Philippine-based HR practitioner and consultant, known here as the HR Carousel Ringmistress.
With over 25 years of experience across corporate HR, consulting, and freelance work, I've seen HR from different angles—from the day-to-day realities of employee relations and recruitment to payroll, policies, compliance, and the many challenges of managing people at work.
HR isn't always neat, straightforward, or textbook-perfect. Sometimes, it means finding practical solutions to complicated situations, balancing employee concerns with business needs, and knowing when to step in—and when to stay in your lane.
Through HR Carousel, I share insights, lessons from practice, and a few observations about the wonderfully complicated world of HR. My goal is simple: to make HR discussions more practical, relatable, and useful to fellow practitioners and anyone interested in the workplace.
For HR consulting or professional inquiries, you can reach me at joyce.alosbanos@gmail.com.
Comments